Why can't shoes feel nice and be sexy?

I find it hard to believe that it is impossible to build a shoe that is comfortable, affordable and not hideous. If they exist, I haven't found them and I've been searching for years. Wearing heels on daily basis just isn't an option for someone like me, with a messed up body. Ballet flats, as cute as they can be, don't really work either. I am lucky enough to live in New England, where clogs are socially acceptable, but I still cringe a little each time I finish off my outfit with a pair of gray corduroy clogs from DSW. And, even the clogs hurt my knees when I wear them too much.

It's become such an issue, at this point, I really can't move. At least, not to anywhere cooler than Boston. To live in New York, I would have to change professions, to a postal worker, personal trainer, or maybe a zookeeper. I also wouldn't be able to go out, ever.

Is there hope for girls like me who want to walk but also don't want to look hideous or like they're in their 80s? I'm about ready to throw in the towel and buy some orthopedic Easy Spirits.

Blue suede Easy Spirits, so hot right now!

I can't imagine I'm alone here. First, there must be other closet cripples like me out there, and even if I'm the only one, every woman's closet is home to at least one pair of shoes she doesn't wear because they cannot be walked in. I imagine that women, as a large consumer block, would take to the idea of comfy and elegant shoes. Sure, some women don't believe in comfortable shoes and eschew the word "comfy" they way others do "moist," but I think the everyday American lady making $31,000 a year, who feels forced to dress up for work, would really love such an invention.

Attention investors: I have ideas. If you know anyone in shoe design, please let me know.

Of course, there is always the possibility that everyone else loves the cheap shoes that I find hideous and I'm just a poor but stuck up snot face.

If I was a rich stuck up snot face, or at least rich like Daphne Guinness, I would design my own dashing custom shoes for every occasion.

Daphne Guinness in Alexander McQueen heels with Marc Jacobs in 2009.

Guinness in Paris in custom shoes.

Another custom pair made for Guinness.

Back in the Saddle

I got my bike back. In less than two weeks!

After my little brother deployed to Afghanistan two weeks ago, my lovely mother drove his '89 Cadillac up to Boston for me to car sit for the next seven months. I was cruisin' in the Caddy when I saw some kid riding my bike up Washington Street. The lock was still on it and everything. I pulled over and told him it was my bike. He stopped and was really nice about it, very apologetic. I suppose I could have caused a stink but I was just so pleased to get my baby back. My lights were gone but otherwise the bike was intact. It's so nice to be back on a bike that goes quickly and stops and shifts when I want it to.

After a mostly lazy three day weekend I'm trying to gear up for two weddings and a 9 day trip to Belgium with my mom. Why is dress shopping so hard? I must have tried on 25 dresses during my lunch break today. They were all super pricey, a bad fit, or just not that awesome. I really wanted to make my own dress with some wax print fabric from Africa but, even if I had a lot of time, I'm sure I'd screw it up without a pattern. If anyone knows a good site for dress patterns, please let me know.

I might just go with something simple like this:

I can't stop listening to Tune-Yards and I need music suggestions. Please help. What have you been listening to?

On Being Fabulous

I recently came across the blog of a fellow Vanderbilt alumna. She calls it "All Things Fabulous: A Daily Reminder of the Good Things in Life." It's a lovely title that made me smile and feel like my blog was comparatively depressing and decidedly unchic. But, I'm not going to let this worry me, as I've already launched a personal campaign to re-chic my life. Half of the effort is a workout group called "Fit As Shit." Starting this week, me, my roommate and some of our friends will embark on a strict training, sleeping and eating regimen designed to get us fit enough to run a 10K this spring and looking amazing in bathing suits by Memorial Day. The other half of the effort is designed to glam up my image. I'm tired of waking up in the morning, staring into my closet for 10 minutes, and then walking out of the house looking like a schlub.

Sometimes I go so far as to blow dry my hair or put mascara on, but most days I just look like a lazy stoner who can't dress herself. To combat the schlubbiness, creativity block and general fashion ennui, I took it upon myself to do some research. This has involved trolling through runway pictures on Style.com and flipping through many, many magazines at the gym. I even went so far as to pay $5.oo for a 500-page issue of InStyle.

I feel weird about knowing that the 70s are back, bright colors are in and the hemlines are all over the place this season but I am trying to embrace my girly side and look better without becoming a vapid slave to consumer culture. A visit Nordstrom Rack and four hours at the Leesburg Premium Outlets nearly killed me yesterday and reminded me why I don't typically go on epic shopping sprees. But, despite the exhaustion, disgust and the sick feeling I got in my stomach each time I swiped a credit card, I do feel better. Dressing for work is going to be easier and much more fun, and I can show up to work without feeling like I have to apologize to my boss for my appearance. Hurray!