Monday, March 18, 2013

Shake it 'til you make it

It's been almost five weeks since I left my day job but today was the first day I felt able to relish my new freedom. The chilly but sunny bike ride from Southie to Jamaica Plain after yoga this morning was simply delightful. I forgot that one of my favorite things about not having a real job is the opportunity to enjoy the city in the weird hours when most folks are at work. The streets and sidewalks are clear, save for the dog walkers and delivery folks. It's dreamy.

Life in general is treating me well. If it wasn't for lingering illness and drama amongst some of my favorite people, I would be stupendous. Since finishing yoga teacher training, I know now that I can separate that crap from who I really am and dance like the happy hipsters in this video, and that is an especially liberating feeling.



I've never thought of myself as a dancer. I took ballet as a child, probably for less than six months. Actually, I think I stopped because I wasn't allowed to wear a tutu during practice and I thought that was bullshit. Why else would one do ballet? Later in life, my friend Suzanna told me something like, "I love that you have absolutely no rhythm but you dance anyway. It's great." I decided to embrace my role as the goof ball dancer. At some point in teacher training this past month, my yoga teacher decided I was a dancer. I looked at him cockeyed and confused. Me? A dancer? Are you sure? I was even more surprised when some classmates told me they were impressed with my moves and urged me to include dance in my sequencing.

Perhaps it's three years of Afro Flow Yoga or the endless string of kitchen dance parties at 34 Robeson, but it seems I'm not JUST a goof ball booty shaker anymore. I'm going to run with that as long as I can.  Pretty or not, it makes me feel alive and helps me forget all the bullshit in my body and my struggles to change the world.

As David Longstreth says, "There is an answer. I haven't found it but I will keep dancing until I do."